It turned out that my understanding of college was flawed, which was a good thing. First of all, I found that I could actually pick more of what I studied. And, even the stuff I didn’t pick, was more interesting because it was taught in a way that involved actually thinking for myself. Also, because the professors studied their subjects for a living they were usually very deeply interested and passionate about what they taught, which made it easy for them to motivate the subjects in their classes. Also, since I was also very deeply interested and passionate about the subjects I was learning about…we got along a great deal better then I got along with my grade school teachers. Interestingly they almost became like celebrities to me. When all was said an done, I started out just wanting to get an associate degree, and ended up with 2 bachelor degrees. Also, I went from a C student in grade school to an A student in college. I learned that motivation is more important than so-called intelligence (which I’m not even sure exists as we currently think of it). This lesson helped to fuel my later ambitions, as you’ll see.
When it came time for college, I wasn’t particularly motivated about it. I thought it would just be more of what I had to suffer through in high school. I decided that just an associates degree from the local community college would do. I could hopefully get through it and play around on computers for a living. Then something happened that I can only partially remember. I remember laying in my bed and somehow coming the the decision that my decision was based on the safest bet and not on what I actually wanted to do. I wanted to be a psychologist. I wanted to learn everything I could about the human mind and help people to use theirs better. At this time in my life, I was at my most annoying. I must have thought I was the reincarnation of Freud, because I somehow believed that everyone needed my “brilliant” insights into their minds. I believe that there is very little trace of this behavior in the current manifestation of my personality. However, my wife would probably beg to differ.
Let’s start with what I can remember from High school. I seem to have a very poor episodic memory…bordering on some odd form of retrograde amnesia. It makes me a bad story teller, but a very forgiving person. I was a social person in high school, but I still spent a great deal of time in books and on the computer (big surprise). I liked to read about eastern religions, philosophy, and psychology. Since the things I liked reading were not the things I was being graded on, I didn’t do too well in school. I self-medicated my intellect on what I felt were more worthwhile endeavors. I felt like the way I was taught in school amounted to intellectual spoon-feeding, and held very little real insight.